


Back to The Start

by SmudgedInk



Category: 30 Seconds to Mars
Genre: Letocest, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-14
Updated: 2014-10-14
Packaged: 2018-02-21 05:34:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2456672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmudgedInk/pseuds/SmudgedInk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed it. Comments, Suggestions and Requests Welcome :)</p></blockquote>





	Back to The Start

1987

Shannon zipped the tent quickly after his younger brother dove in to the sleeping bag next to him giggling. 

"You're gonna get us caught! Shut up!" Shannon hushed his brother as best as he could. 

Shannon unzipped a large blue back pack and pulled out a half emptied bottle of Jack Daniels and a small plastic sandwich bag that held an unfamiliar green herb and finally a lighter. 

"Is that what I think it is?" Jared asked as his eyes widened. 

"Yes and if you don't calm down you won't get any"

Jared watched intently as Shannon went to work rolling the joint. 

His slender fingers making quick work of the paper. 

"Swig" Shannon demanded handing his little brother the large bottle. 

Jared removed the cap, catching a whiff of the whiskey causing him to make a disgusted face. 

"It smells awful" Jared protested. 

"You don't sniff it idiot! Drink it"

Jared turned the bottle up and swallowed hard as the liquid burned into his chest. 

Shannon laughed at the coughing fit of his sibling. 

"You'll get used to it."

\---------------------

Jared and Shannon's heads were buzzing from the alcohol and smoke as the evening wore on. 

Although barely out of his teens, Shannon was already an expert at handling his liquor. 

Jared on the other hand was not. 

After about four shots, he was half way to fully blitzed. 

The conversation ranged from movies, music and back around to what all teenage boys think about. 

"So you and Lindsay Conner?" Jared began handing the joint back to Shannon. 

"What about her?"

"Did you make out with her?"

Shannon laughed. 

"Well yeah!" Shannon replied "Among other things."

"Other things?" Jared questioned. 

"Nevermind."

Shannon stopped himself for a moment. 

"Wait," he questioned "have you never made out with a girl?"

Jared hung his head and answered quietly. 

"No. I practiced on my hand though"

Shannon chuckled again to himself. 

"Well what are you gonna do when she slips you the tongue?" 

Jared recoiled. 

"Gross!"

"It's not gross." Shannon replied. "It's actually kinda nice."

\----------------

"Ok." Shannon began "I'm only doing this because I can't have my brother ruining the Leto name and making people think we're bad kissers."

He scooted toward his younger brother who was eager to learn the ways of the make out session. 

"Just close your eyes and follow my lead"

Jared nodded closing his eyes. 

Shannon leaned in and pressed his lips softly to his brother's. 

As Jared's lips moved beneath his kissing him back, somehow it didn't feel wrong. 

Shannon slowly parted Jared's lips with his tongue as Jared followed along. 

Jared lost himself in the kiss, and moved his hands up his brother's back kissing him deeper. 

Shannon laid his brother down on the sleeping bags continuing the lesson. 

Jared moaned lightly beneath his brother as he felt himself getting hard against his siblings light grinding. 

Shannon broke their kiss and began to nibble on Jared's neck as his prick stiffened. 

This wasn't lust like he felt with the neighbor's daughter. This was love. 

Pure devotion that would never be broken. 

"Shannon! Jared!"

The sound of their mother's voice shattered the emotion they were feeling as they quickly broke apart. 

 

2004

"Nope!" Shannon yelled. "Get your mopey ass out of bed right now!" 

"Fuck off Shan." Jared said rolling over to face the window. 

"Look I'm sorry she cheated. And I'm sorry that it's over, but you need to get out. At least, come with me to the park"

He grumbled knowing Shannon was right. 

It had been six months since Cam left and he had to start over, and now was as good a time as any. 

\------------------

The brothers returned from their hike and flopped on the couch. 

Shannon grabbed the remote to turn on the TV. 

"Wanna watch a movie?" Shannon suggested

"Sure" Jared replied with a half hearted smile. 

As his older brother clicked on the TV, Jared's heart sank. 

"We have exclusive pictures of Cameron Diaz spotted with new beau heartthrob Justin Timberlake"   
"Sources confirm the pair are dating and have been seen around Los Angeles and getting quite close"

Shannon turned the TV off quickly as a picture of Cam and Justin kissing flashed on the screen. 

"What the fuck?" Jared yelled throwing an empty glass at the wall shattering it in to pieces. 

"Jay! Stop!" 

"You don't know what it's like Shannon!"

Shannon sat for a moment and let his brother vent.

"Do you know how it feels to have been in love with someone for years? Give them your heart, mind, and soul just for them to be with someone else? No! You don't"

Jared began to weep, feeling the anguish of unrequited love. 

Of course he did. He had been in love with Jared the moment their lips touched all those years ago.

He didn't understand it. He wanted nothing more than to hold him, protect him and love him the way he deserved. 

"Yeah actually I do" Shannon said softly 

"Bullshit Shan! You can and have had anyone you've ever wanted! How could you possibly know how this feels!"

Shannon couldn't hold back anymore and began to spill his guts. 

"I've wanted someone I couldn't have for a long time Jay! I've watched them go through one person after another trying to fill the void that I knew I could fill but they'd never look my way!"

"Who? I've never seen you love someone like that."

"You! Damn it! You!"

Shannon stood to walk away with tears in his eyes leaving Jared stunned. 

 

 

2007

"Shan?" Jared called out in to the small apartment. 

He walked past a counter lined with plastic red cups, empty liquor bottles and old pizza boxes. 

"Shannon?" Jared called again as he stepped past the bathroom where towels had been thrown by the wayside and on to the floor. 

"He's in the guest room." Tomo chimed in softly. 

Jared made his way back to the room to find Shannon lying on his side sleeping. 

The room reeked of unwashed clothes, alcohol and marijuana. 

It broke his heart to see him in this state, knowing that he was the cause. 

He couldn't tell him that he felt the way that he did three years ago because he'd only just admitted to himself. 

He sat on the edge of bed and brushed his long hair from his brother's face. 

"Huh?" Shannon woke with a start. 

"It's me Shan. It's me"

"Why are you here?" Shannon groaned rubbing his head. 

"To take you home Shan" 

"I don't live there anymore" 

Shannon's words punched Jared in the gut. 

Shannon sat up from the bed and lit a cigarette that he grabbed from the bedside table. 

"Please come home"

Jared was begging now. 

"Why?"

"Because I miss you." Jared said placing his hand on Shannon's thigh. 

 

\---------------------

Shannon dropped his bag at the front door of the house he'd shared with Jared and crossed the threshold. 

"Are you hungry?" Jared asked

"I can always eat." 

"Ok. Umm I think I have a vegan pizza in the freezer" Jared beamed. 

"Vegan pizza?" Shannon said disgustedly as they walked to the kitchen. 

"Oh come on it's good for you" 

"Pizza should never be good for you." Shannon replied with a laugh. "You cook your cardboard and veggies, I'm ordering the good stuff"

\----------------------

Shannon lifted the box of his piping hot pizza as he sat at the kitchen counter while Jared grabbed his own out of the oven. 

They ate in silence. Neither of them wanting to start the discussion of feelings. Until Jared couldn't hold back any longer. 

He knew now how Shannon had felt the day he left. 

The words and emotions springing up in his soul begging to get out. 

"Shannon, I'm glad you're home. I missed you. A lot"

"I... I missed you too Jay"

Jared's bright blue eyes began to well with tears as he looked at his older brother. 

He reached his hand out across the counter, praying that Shannon would take it. 

"What's wrong baby brother?" Shannon said taking Jared's hand and rubbing the back with his thumb. 

"Do... Do you remember what..." Jared tried to compose himself 

Shannon stared at him concerned. 

"Do you remember what you said after Cam left?"

Shannon pulled his hand away quickly and stood from the table. 

"You told me to never bring that up again Jay." Shannon said angrily. 

Jared stood and made his way over to his brother as tears streamed down his face. 

"Shan. Shan...I'm sorry"

Tears began to form in Shannon's honey colored orbs as he inched closer to him. 

Jared felt as if his heart was going to beat out of his chest. 

Of all the crowds, movie premiers, auditions, none of them made him as nervous as this moment now. 

He needed Shannon to know. He needed to let him know how much he loved him. 

"Shannon I feel the same way." Jared couldn't stop himself now "In some way I feel like we're soulmates. Meant to be despite all things and we've run from it for twenty years. I'm tired of running Shan. I'm in love with you."

Shannon placed his hands along the sides of Jared's tear stained face and took a step forward. 

His eyes locked on to Jared's as his own tears fell. 

"I don't understand this. And frankly I don't care to. All I know is that you make me happy and I'm in love with you, and no one will ever change that"

Jared smiled lightly as his affections were returned. 

Shannon leaned in pressing his lips to Jared's as his hands moved down to his waist pulling him in to his arms. 

Jared moaned in to the kiss. 

In twenty years, Shannon hadn't lost the ability to make his heart race. 

It wasn't going to be easy. There would be secrecy, questions, lies and cover ups. 

But they had each other and it would always be that way. 

Shannon was home in Jared's arms and Jared found his rightful place in Shannon's.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed it. Comments, Suggestions and Requests Welcome :)


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